THE ANSWER IS 12
#226 Vacation Volleys...Welcome to the Show...
2/16/10This issue comes to you from sunny, hazy Manila as my winter vacation quickly slips away from me. I didn't make it to China as planned. Cheeri-Ho convinced me to crash at his pad for my five weeks out and about. It's been absolutely crazy. We went to Subic Bay three out of five weekends. There has been lots of Hashes, drinks and sun. I've somehow managed to keep up with my two classes through it all. Sunday I return to the land of winter and work. Until then, I give you this issue...
By the Numbers...
3.0 : Magnitude of Tuesday's earthquake in Seoul, the strongest to rattle the city since they began keeping records in 1978. According to the papers, I could have felt it had I been in country and at home. 35.2 : The lifetime probability of being involved in a car accident in Korea.
1.02 : The lifetime probability of dying in a car accident in Korea.
34.4 : The probability of Korean men getting cancer in their lifetime.
28.9 : The probability of Korea women getting cancer in their lifetime.
22.45 : The number, in millions, of Koreans expected to travel during Seollal (Chinese New Year) this year.
37,671 : The number of crimes committed "out of a sudden loss of temper" in Korea in 2005.
159,833 : The number of crimes committed "out of a sudden loss of temper" in Korea in 2008.
150-300 : The percentage Korea's major hospitals charge foreigners (especially medical tourists) above locals.
A Decade Late...
2/10/10 In 1981 a new network appeared on cable television. It changed the world...for the better...for 15 or so years. That network was MTV. MTV once again changed television forever in the 1990s (no, I'm not talking about how it assisted Puff Daddy and Master P destroy rap and hip-hop) when it premiered the first season of The Real World. Reality television exploded and the mindless masses haven't had to compose an original thought since. MTV has finally admitted that it now longer has anything to do with music. The network's redesigned logo has dropped the "Music Television" from beneath the "M" in its logo. MTV is dead...and has been for more than a decade. It gave us the douches of Jersey Shore and paved the way for such bottom feeding "reality" shows as American Idol, Big Brother, John and Kate, and other lowest common denominator programing. I want do my MTV, but the MTV that played music videos and the occasional trippy animation, geeky game show and Beavis and Butthead.
Overpopulation...
2/14/10Any of you who have followed me and my scribbled ranting antics know that I believe that we have way overpopulated this spinning ball of mud we live on. The Korea Times provided definitive proof of that today. If you follow me, then you also know how little respect I have for the quality of "journalism" at the Times. An article today on the site tells us that many rural Chinese are renting boyfriends and girlfriends to take home to mom and dad during Chinese New Year this weekend. The idea is that it is somewhat cultural unacceptable to be single and in your mid-20s, so they rent a companion to show off to their parents to save face. What really drove me crazy in this article was the numbers the Times gave. According to them, China has a population of 13 BILLION, and 8 BILLION of them live in the countryside. Way to go The Korea Times! At least they spelled it correctly...
Getting What You Deserve...
2/16/10Today we are looking at a pair of idiots who got what they deserved. Our first idiot is William Gregory Byrd. He is a recent double amputee and deserves to be. Byrd led Oklahoma City police on a 20 minute, 110mph chase on I-240 and I-40. The chase ended when Byrd hit the exit sign at the Harrah/Newalla exit. The crash severed his left leg and crushed his right. Doctors later removed his right leg. Deputy Chris Findley also hit the exit sign. He rolled his cruiser but suffered only a broken tailbone. The lesson: don't run from the police.
Peter Bethune is our second idiot. Bethune is an anti-whaling activist. He scaled and boarded the Shonan Maru 2, a Japanese whaling vessel, yesterday. He committed this act of piracy in order to place the captain under citizen's arrest and to give him a three million dollar bill for hitting and destroying a protest ship, the Ady Gil, last month. Bethune jumped from a jet ski to the ship's protective netting in order to board it. He used a knife to cut the netting and his thumb. The Japanese are detaining him. If I were them, I'd chop him up and use him for chum for committing an act of piracy. Don't get me wrong, I'm against whaling for the most part, but these vessels are following rules and these activists are breaking rules. I don't know what will happen to Bethune, but he deserves whatever he gets.
Irony Be Thy Name...
2/16/10 Jay-Z has said that he doesn't like the Haiti remake of the classic song, "We Are the World." He said that the original was like Michael Jackson's "Thriller" to him and should never be touched. This is heavily ironic coming from a man who built his unoriginal career raping classic songs. How can he possibly come out against a remake of any song by anybody? Along with the likes of Master P and Puff Daddy, Jay-Z helped kill rap and hip-hop in the mid-90s, paving the way for the garbage that passes for rap and hip-hop today. Jay-Z has 99 problems, and originality ain't one of them.
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