TAI12 #247 A Month (and
Change) in WLOTUS
(Future Flights and Panic Plans)
8/9/2023 – Day 1,257 out of China
Greetings Maniacal Minotaurs of Madness,
Welcome
to the Show...
August 7 Monday
This truncated edition
starts off with a pair of bombs. I struggle to find the words, so I’ll just let
this missive do the talking for me.
Little
Boy...
August 7 Tuesday
Good day, my ninjas and ninjettes. I hope this finds you all well and
shiny.
Sit down and strap in, because it’s update time:
The US Department of State continues to keep me locked into a holding
pattern as I await their authentication of my FBI background check before it
goes to the Chinese Embassy for the same. This massive headache is an additional
drawn-out step I didn’t have to face in 2017 for my last Chinese work visa.
This got tossed onto the pile when the Orange chose in his infinite wisdom to
shutter the Chinese Consulate in Houston. This placed its states (Texas to
Florida) under the jurisdiction of their main Embassy in DC. For reasons beyond
me, going through the Embassy to obtain a work visa adds this extra task which
their consulates don’t require.
An international school on the southside (SouthSide!) of Shenyang hired
me a few months ago. A visa agency in Atlanta submitted my background check to
the DoS in mid-May, twelve weeks ago.
My new contract started on August 1, while I continue to rot here in
Funklahoma. For the first time in my career, I have found employment with a
school that has training, but I obviously missed out on it. Our classes begin
on August 10. The principal is going to substitute for me until I arrive.
They have assigned me grade 11-12 US History and 9-10 and 11-12 English,
two subjects I have never before taught. Due to the small size of our student
body, they lump two grades together. Last night, I learned just how small our
numbers are. We have but twenty-two students total from 1st to 12th
grade. Grades 9-12 have eight students. I bet I’ll learn all of my students’
names for once.
With some luck, not that I’m having any, I could finally return in late
August or early September.
Fat
Man...
August 9 Wednesday
After not having received a single text from Chairman Wife since last
Halloween and not having heard her voice since the February before that, she
called me on Sunday afternoon local time.
She is in Korea to say goodbye to her mother who is busy dying of
cancer. Having arrived two weeks ago, she held off on informing me of her
condition, knowing that I’d likely rush over to see her as I’d done last year while
I was in Nepal and her mother received her first diagnosis.
Our conversation went for just under two hours. It covered a lot of intense
insanity which I'll share at a later date, but the headline from the talk was
that she is leaving me. She doesn't like people, nor does she deserve to be
happy, so she's ending it.
I had a good long freakout that evening, consuming enough vodka to put
down half of the Russian troops currently invading Ukraine along with some
other goodies. Several long hours of phone conversation with old friends helped
to calm me down and quell the hyperventilating.
The subsequent few days have passed in a bit of a sober haze. I donated
platelets yesterday. Now that I'm down a pint, I should probably consume a
couple to replenish my fluids.
I continue to think of Shenyang as home and cherish the life that I had
begun to build there. My contract runs through the end of next June, leaving me
the better part of a year to sort out the remnants of my plans.
BYE THE NUMBERS:
·
1,666 – Number of
dog meat restaurants in Korea.
·
1,508 – Number of
guns seized at US airports by TSA during the first quarter of 2023.
·
93 – Percentage of
those guns that were loaded.
·
5,611 – Number of
people arrested for drug trafficking and abuse in Nepal during the fiscal year
2079/80 BS.
·
18,022 – Amount,
in kilograms, of marijuana seized in Nepal.
·
528 – Amount, in
kilograms, of hashish seized in Nepal.
·
34.258 – Amount,
in kilograms, of opium seized in Nepal.
·
14.35 – Amount,
in kilograms, of brown sugar seized in Nepal.
·
14, 567 – Amount,
in kilograms, of cocaine seized in Nepal.
·
582 – Amount, in
billions of yuan ($81 billion USD), of losses incurred by Chinese real estate
corporation, Evergrande Group, during its 2021-22 failure.
·
766,946 –
Population decrease in Seoul between 2012-2022.
·
39,304 – Number
of Scouts from 155 countries attending the World Scout Jamboree in Korea from
August 2-12.
·
1,486 – Number of
Jamboree attendees who visited the on-site hospital just on Thursday in the 95F
heat.
·
70 – Number of
cleaning staff originally hired to look after the grounds, since upped to 700.
·
70 – Number of
participants who have tested positive for COVID so far, sparking concerns of an
outbreak.
·
4,300 – Number of
Scouts from the UK (the largest group in attendance) being pulled out of the
Jamboree. Also leaving are the US and Singapore Scouts.
·
117.1 – Amount,
in billions of Korean won ($89 million USD), budgeted for the Jamboree by the
Korean government.
·
9,056 – Number of
COVID patients in US hospitals as of July 29.
peace,
samiam NEARING
aka: Reverend samiam, Nut ‘n Bone, professa kimchi killa, Richard
Lichman, Captain Beer, Dunkin' Doze Nuts, Testicles, Tiny Dick, and The Cowboy from Hell!
*Legal crapola: Unless otherwise
noted, all material in this and every issue of TAI12 are the property of George Samuel Nearing and his multiple
personalities. Nothing contained herein
may be reproduced in any way, shape, form, or fashion without requesting and receiving permission in
writing. © 2002-2023 Plug-One Productions.
