Konglish Death Threat

Konglish Death Threat

11/27/2009
     ATEK (Association for Teachers of English in Korea) must be doing something right.  Our new president (yes, I'm a member), Greg Dolezal, received an emailed death threat this week from one of the paranoid, racist, xenophobic members of the AES (Anti-English Spectrum) group.  The AES is an online organization of foreigner-hating Koreans who stalk us and go through our garbage in half-ass attempts to find reasons to toss "illegal teachers" out of THEIR country.  In their eyes, all of the nearly 43,000 foreign English teachers in Korea are drug-abusing, HIV/AIDS-infested, sexual molesting, pedophiles with fake degrees who violate the "Korean moral code."  This is rather ironic.  It wasn't that long ago that I read an article about a Korean man who abducted a teenage girl, tied her to a bed in an apartment and rented her out to hundreds of Korean men.  Not one foreigner.  The pervert kept a list.  It included Korean doctors, teachers, lawyers and assorted businessmen.  Not one foreigner.

     Getting back on track, one AES member has formed his own group, the KEK (Kill White in Korea).  He sent the following threat to Dolezal:

"I have organized the KEK (Kill White in Korea). This group of people is about 200 in anywhere in Korea. We will gonna start to kill and hit White (expletives) english spectrum from this Chirstmas. Don't make a fuss in there, just get out."

     I think that maybe some of this wacko's rage stems from his lack of English education.  If you're going to go to all the trouble of issuing a death threat, don't be lazy about it.  Take some pride in your work! 

peace,

Nut

Dliminate Violence Against Bad English

 Dliminate Violence Against Bad English

11/27/2009
     The morons at The Korea Times have done it again.  They posted a political cartoon for the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.  The cartoon itself is pretty funny.  Even funnier is the title the Times gave to the page in question.  The called it:

International Day for the Dlimination of Violence

    Does the Times not have spell check or an editor?  They will change in a couple of hours after somebody reads the user comments at the bottom of the page from people mocking their shabby newspaper.

peace,

Nut

Miss Plastic Korea 1998

I HATE BARBIES

11/27/2009

     Beauty queens are not known for their intelligence.  Lee Hye-won proves that.  Miss Korea 1998, she is married to Ahn Jung-hwan, a Korean soccer player playing for a Chinese team.  This vapid idiot made a very strange response to something posted on a Chinese website.  The posting said: 

"Ms. Lee is the representative cosmetic beauty from the wives of the world's sports stars. She, albeit a 1998 Miss Korea beauty, is one of those who show Korea's excellent cosmetic surgery skills."

     To me, this posting compliments the abilities of Korea's plastic surgeons.  The moron who wrote this is applauding women with self-esteem problems who hire "quality" plastic surgeons.  Lee proved my assumptions correct when she responded to this on her blog.  Instead of trying to deny or defend any plastic surgery procedures she has undergone, she made this completely f*cked comment:

"Now I know why people have chosen death."

What the hell?!  Is she justifying suicide over plastic surgery accusations?  What a plastic nut job!  If she now knows why "people have chosen death," then she might as well join them.

peace,

Nut

Random local flavor

KOREAN CANCER MERCHANTS

11/23/2009
This is a good one. Two North Korean diplomats were arrested in Sweden for smuggling 230,000 cigarettes into the country. Where it gets good is that they are not accredited diplomats in Sweden, only in Russia. This negates the diplomatic immunity they have claimed. Sweden is one the seven countries with an embassy in North Korea. I love anybody associated with cigarettes getting what they deserve, be it cancer or an arrest record.

UNDER WHERE?

11/24/2009
Korean police have arrested a 48-year-old married man for stealing 285 pieces of women's underwear during home burglaries. He supposedly took in them in over 30 burglaries and are estimated to be worth 3.5 million won. What the hell? I buy my boxers three for ten dollars. That's less than a thousand dollars. This guy was thugging some classy drawers!

KOREA'S MISSIONARY POSITION

11/25/09
Korea's government is considering passing legislation to protect some of its citizens too ignorant to protect themselves. A new bill would ban Koreans for one-three years from returning to countries they have been deported from. Specifically, they are gearing this towards the country's fanatical missionaries who constantly travel to the Middle East to try to sell their god to locals. They are often deported (80 from the Middle East in the past three months). The more than 20,000 Korean missionaries working abroad frequently become targets of other religious zealots. Four Koreans died in Yemen in a March bombing. A female was killed in June. Afghan Taliban soldiers kidnapped 23 Korean missionaries in 2007 and killed two of them. Korea responded by withdrawing its army medics and engineers stationed there.

I have no sympathy for these morons. Missionaries are a horrible lot of zealots. Yes, they do do some good work these days in some third-world places, but religion is the cause of many of the world's problems. Religion is responsible for most of mankind's wars through history. It is responsible for uncounted deaths. And it isn't over yet. The kooks in the Vatican still don't people using condoms to prevent the spread of preventable diseases. How can anybody justify this? Missionaries who travel all the way to another country to explain to people how the god they believe isn't as good as the god the missionaries are trying to sell them deserve to suffer the full repercussions of their actions.

peace,

Nut

"I suck nuts."

"I SUCK NUTS."

9/13/09 –samiam
“Korea is gay.” This is one of many hellified ironic and screwed up statements made by Park Jae-beom four years ago privately on Myspace that forced him to decide to run away from Korea and return to his native America. Jae-beom was the ambiguously gay leader of one of Korea’s multitude of ambiguously gay boy-bands, 2PM. He wrote that along with many other hate-filled, prejudiced and just plain pretarded comments when he first came to Korea four years ago as a high school student specifically to be groomed to be in a boy-band.

“I hate Koreans. I wanna come back.” He also wrote these comments, along with the first, between 2005 and 2007. I understand that it must be difficult for an American high school student to move to Korea and witness the homoeroticism that is the Korean high school classroom, but when you are being groomed to be showcased in the public spotlight, part of that training should include when to shut your mouth and when to stifle your typing.

He came to Korea in 2005 after breakdancing in Seattle to pass and audition by JYP USA (a US group of a Korean entertainment management company). An article in the Korea Times called his group a band of “seven pretty young men.” Only when talking about lip-syncing, talentless boy- and girl-bands, can you describe a group by only mentioning their physical appearances. Also, it’s very easy to do this and get it completely wrong.

Koreans have been attacking him online in droves. They accuse him of being “another American who just came to Korea to make money.” I like this accusation particularly because it was a Korean boy-band manufacturing company that recruited him and brought him over to dance like a puppet with a half-pound of makeup to generic “DDR”-like moves in androgynous clothing to please children aged eight to 40.

“U.S. citizens who don’t even serve their military duties should hurry up and go back home,” was another online quote from an idiot who had no clue as to what the hell they were talking about. Talentless hack he might have been, Jae-beom was born and raised in Seattle. Unlike actual Koreans, he doesn’t have to serve in the Korea, or any other, military.

Undoubtedly, my favorite quote came from the Backstreet Boy wannabe himself: "Korea is whack, but everyone thinks I'm like the illest rapper when I suck nuts at rapping." Really? Is he from 1992? Did he get his haircut from Play’s barber after he had a stroke? He admits to sucking nuts and calls Korea gay? Good luck being a nobody in America, you poser.

It’s amazing and ironic that a “man” could go around looking like this and say, “Korea is gay.”

peace,

Nut

UPDATE: 11/25/2009

The Joongang Daily website gave an angry story about Jae-beom's "who-gives-a-sh*t" return to Korean television tonight. The paper said that Koreans are not happy that the cable network, tVN, is running a video of him back in his hometown of Seattle. A preview showed him working part-time at a car repair shop there. Can I call it, or can I call it?

Leftovers

I'm a bit busy trying to finish up my classes at work and the ones I'm taking for my MSEd. It's strange to be on both sides of the desk at the same time. I found the last of the TAI12 issue I had been working on a couple of months ago. I had even completed a couple of the stories. Here they are:

BY THE NUMBERS

65,000 - Number of Korean Internet users American and Japanese pornographers claim violated copyright laws by illegally downloading their videos. Korean prosecution is only allowing them to sue repeat offenders.
1,031 - Number of foreign nationals in Korean prisons at the end of June 2009.
681 - Number of foreign nationals in Korean detention awaiting trials at the end of June 2009.
25 - Number of Americans in Korean prisons at the end of June 2009.
667 - Number of Chinese in Korean prisons at the end of June 2009.
113 – Number of the 1,712 foreigners held in Korea accused/convicted of drug-related charges.
204 - Number of the 1,712 foreigners held in Korea accused/convicted of murder charges.
700 - Number of the 1,712 foreigners held in Korea accused/convicted of fraud/embezzlement charges.
14.11 – Number, in millions, of cigarette packs sold in the first of 2008 in Korea’s PX stores.
18.74 – Number, in millions, of cigarette packs sold in the first of 2009 in Korea’s PX stores. I don’t know how so many of Korea’s more than 650,000 soldiers expect to serve their country when they will eventually also be fighting lung cancer they so rightly deserve.
43.9 – Percentage of Koreans living in apartments.
20 – Percentage of apartments in Japan’s housing market.
400,000 – Number of apartments built in Korea in 2008.
4 – Debut position on the Billboard 200 chart of the Insane Clown Posse’s new album, Bang! Pow! Boom! It was 1 on the Indie chart! The Dark Carnival is back!
6.1 – Number, in millions, of background checks for guns issued in the U.S. between January and May this year, up 25.6 percent from the same period in 2008.
7 – Number, in billions, of rounds of ammunition usually bought annually by Americans.
9 – Number, in billions, of rounds of ammunition bought in 2008 by Americans.
50,591 – Number of foreign university students in Korea as of April, 2009.
40,000 – Number of Chinese university students in Korea as of April, 2009.
564,054 – Number of pay phones in Korea in 1999.
153,169 – Number of pay phones in Korea as of June, 2009.
700,000 – Average amount, in KRW, made monthly by each of Korea’s ten top-grossing pay phones.
20,000 – Average amount, in KRW, made monthly by every other Korean pay phone.
20 – Percentage of Korea’s pay phones that have gone one year without being used once.
518,000 – Number of private cram-school instructors in Korea in 2008.
395,000 – Number of public and private school teachers in Korea in 2008.
67 – Number of corpses on ice at Detroit’s Wayne County morgue due to neither the families nor the county having the money to bury or cremate them.

UPS & DOWNS UPS:

9/11/09 – It’s about time. Korea’s Ministry of Strategy and Finance wants to implement a VAT (value added tax) on all cosmetic surgery not covered by the national health insurance. This includes eyelid, nose and boob jobs along with wrinkle removal procedures and liposuction. Congratulations to the government for trying to dissuade all those with mental issues who believe cutting themselves up will improve their lives!

9/16/09 – I love stories about people defending themselves. A John Hopkins University student killed a burglar with a samurai sword yesterday. Holy sh*t! The unnamed thief had entered the home of several students. Four students, one toting the sword, found him in their garage. The thief “lunged” at them. The guy with the sword chopped off the intruder’s left hand and sliced into his upper body. He died at the scene and had had 29 burglary arrests, but won’t make it to 30. The only sad side to this story is that the man who defended his home and friends is now waiting to learn whether or not the authorities will press criminal charges. It wouldn’t be the first time the system screwed over a person standing up for him/herself. Just look at what happened to Jerome Ersland. Good luck to both of you!
9/24/09 – I have to admire the honesty of some dishonest people. A recent Korea Times article about the decline of pay phone usage in the country included some quotes from people who still use them and why. Most people mentioned having forgotten their cells at home or the lower cost of using a pay phone as their reasons. My favorite reason came from Lee, a 47-year-old married man. “I have a girlfriend and I use a pay phone to call her for fear that my wife will check my cell phone records to see if I’m calling her,” said Lee. The adulterer goes on to claim that he calls the girlfriend two or three times daily.

DOWNS:

9/25/09 – Bribery in schools has gone mobile in South Korea. Parents no longer have to worry about whether or not the bribes they send their children’s teachers make it in the right hands or not. Parents can now text “gifts” of up to 500,000 KRW in gift certificates thanks to SK Telecom’s Giftcon service.
9/30/09 – What the hell!? I just watched a video on CNN that infuriated me. I am continually amazed at the stupidity of my fellow countrymen. A 12-year-old and her 11-year-old sister in North Carolina are missing along with their adoptive father. What makes this truly insane is that the 12-year-old is pregnant and due any day now. PREGNANT! She’s friggin’ 12 and pregnant! Authorities are concerned because she has already had some “complications with her pregnancy.” Really? A knocked up 12-year-old is having complications? Who the hell raised this young slut? Why didn’t she have an abortion? This is some crazy sh*t!

WEEKLY KONGLISH

9/16/09 –samiam I found the following quote in a fluff piece of non-news on the Korea Times website today. The story was about an actress who was a “perfect student” in middle school. It goes on to interview one of her old teachers who said that she “drew popularity from male students with her beauty.” Who the hell remembers what girl was popular among the boys in middle school? Who the hell cares? In the end, it was really about plugging her new show, although they only briefly mentioned it, waiting until the seventh of the seven-paragraph “story.” “In the meantime, the 29-year-old actress will appear as a heroin in the upcoming espionage TV drama "Iris,"which has generated plenty of hype since the unveiling of its A-list cast and blockbuster scale.” I’d like to know how she can play heroin.

WHO NEEDS ENEMIES WHEN YOU’VE GOT CIGARETTES?

9/17/09 –samiam In this issue’s “By the Numbers,” I threw out some numbers concerning rising tobacco consumption among Korea’s soldiers. It comes at a price. The The government used to supply soldiers with 15 packs of duty-free cancer sticks monthly. They made a half-assed attempt to end this practice in 1981. They stopped Santa Claus-ing the smokes and instead gave every soldier (idiots and non-smokers alike) the cash equivalent of 15 packs. They cut the amount to 10 packs in 2006, five packs in 2007 and finally zero packs this year. They now pay 2,500 KRW a pack.
peace,

Nut

Happy Hashgiving!

It's Hashgiving weekend, so I'm drinking a bottle of my own So-Wine to get good and blitzed for tonight's dinner!

peace,

Nut

Quote of the Week

"The Special Olympics is to winners as Fox News is to experts. If you show up, you are one."

-Jon Stewart The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 11/18/2009

Another reason...

Another reason I started this blog thingy, Facef*ck is the Evilnet equivalent to the twice-the-size-of-Texas-sized floating island of garbage in the Pacific Ocean. Myspace is a bit better, mostly because it has a blog. The problem Myspace's blog faces is that the site isn't as nearly as popular as Facef*ck. Myspace ends up being like the town dump: It's mostly garbage, but a scavenger can occasionally find some treasures...

peace,

Nut

Establishing me, myself and I...or Three Deaf Mice...

It's going to take me some time to acclimatize myself to this change in format from my original, larger postings on my now-defunct website.

Saturday night I couldn't rouse myself to make the trip to Evilwon as I wouldn't have arrived until after 2200, so I decided to hang out on my own at the local Wa Bar. I had done some writing in my journal and slugged back a few shots of Jack chased by four mugs of Wa Draft when I had to hit the head. I couldn't believe what I found in the hallway. Three middle aged Korean men stood around the hallway smoking cigarettes. This is never a surprise in Korea, especially in a no-smoking area. What makes this instance off the wall is that the three men were all deaf and trying to sign to each other, despite each of them having one hand impaired by the cigarettes they held. Incredible.

In other news:

1. Korea now ranks 39th out of 180 countries in global corruption according to the Corruption Perceptions Index. It was ranked 40 last year.

2. Street vendors here are blaming a downturn in business on the R2D2 pandemic. More Koreans are cooking their own street food at home. Sales of the ingredients for popular street food have increased dramatically in recent months. I'll still eat my street food on the streets, thank you very much.

I finished the second of my three assignments for my Current Issues III course last night. The final assignment won't take much effort and isn't due until December 4. I've now got to focus on the final write-ups of my observations at MJ's school. This hefty piece of b.s. isn't due until December 11, but it's going to take quite a bit of time to get it done.

Other action coming up this month includes:

1. HMR's on-out at Osan this weekend, Hashgiving with the PMSH3 and with Southside H3.

2. The Keojedo H3 has their 28th anniversary on the 28th. A weekend at the Beav's will round out the month.

peace,

Nut

First stab

This is my first stab at the blogosphere. I went through all the effort and trouble of learning how to set up a website right as blogs and social networking sites became popular. I figured that I can write on here for free and post my pics to my facef*ck site for free, so there's not much logic behind paying for a domain name and host and having to deal with URL and a program to use it on. Basically, I'm a cheap mo-fo...